Independent You!

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So, who among you isn’t satisfied? Who has children tugging at a leg, needing a nose wipe, and it’s just annoying? Who’s exhausted and spent and doesn’t want to play anymore? It’s normal. It happens to all of us. Every so often we can fall into “woe is me” and that’s when you know you need a break.

     You don’t need reminding about your love for your children. All you have to do is walk into their bedrooms at night and get all choked up watching their tender little bodies sleep.

It’s Not the Kids, It’s You

   If you are weary of it all, if you wish there were a little more zip in your life, you need reminding about what matters most. And it’s not THEM. It’s NOT your kids. It’s YOU. Without YOU fully present and engaged, you will become depleted. Worn out. Miserable.
     So hear me: You are not your spouse. You’re not “Taylor’s mom,” or the good daughter-in-law or the favorite aunt, you are YOU. No one else. And you wanted babies so much. A life with children. And to take walks and to make beds and to maybe even go to the beach together if you could swing it. Reading bedtime stories. Watching the baby take her first steps. You wanted and wanted and wanted. But when the second baby came along it started to be a bit more of a daily grind. And then a lot of a grind with baby number 3. And soon enough, you were in it up to your elbows, and that’s a whole lot of macaroni. And it can stop being fun.

And Time Keeps Ticking

    Moms and dads can lose their way and start to take everything for granted. And that’s when you have to say, “Stop.” Just, “Stop.” 
That’s when you need to call your girlfriends and make time for them so you can sort out what’s going on. Ask questions and ask for advice and listen and laugh and remember. Fight to hold on to YOU, because you can easily disappear into the pit of living your life only for your kids. It’s a lie that moms who give themselves up for the sake of their kids are raising them right. Your kids want you to be YOU.

    So hold on.

When it gets tough, when the perfectness of everyone else gets to you and your own world just bugs you to no end, take a break. Say your prayers. And know that something far more powerful is going on in the world and you are nothing but a tiny crumb among crumbs, and there but for the grace of God go you. You were given the greatest gift of all in your children, so buck up. Go watch your kids sleeping tonight and hold yourself tightly.

Susan Swindell Day is editor in chief of this publication and the mom of four great kids.

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